Friday, June 29, 2001

Well kids its the end of an era. Hot Lava is no more. It will remain how it is, indefinetly, for you viewing pleasure. But dont fret!! Theres a new and even more spectacular Blog on the horizon!! I give thee, *Cherry Spit*

See what happened is I fucked up my the old archives trying to be creative with the template...so every blog I ever posted is now on this page and every time I add more it gets bigger and bigger and takes longer and longer to load. So its all about Cherry Spit now. Go check it out. Youlle find a link to this here "Hot Lava Era" in the archives if you feel the urge to come back and reminisce.

Onward to *Cherry Spit*

Friday, June 01, 2001

What up dawgs?! Long time no blog. As you can see theres a new look to the place. This is my pathetic attempt at designing with html. I kinda dig it. But unfortounetly I messed up the entire archive dealie that used to be up in the corner. Apparently when you reformat the HTML from scratch you have to re organize and link all the old blog entries. As you can see I dont know jack about what Im doing, so until I figure it out, or care enough, all the entries Ive ever made will appear on one page. It might take a few secs to download, but hey this is me were talking about and Im so worth a few seconds. Also I have two new blogs. Of course Ive had this blog the longest and love it the most, but Im also doing a guerilla pr blog with some kids at work, and another blog with a bunch of other dorks. The work one is all just a bunch of inside jokes so Im not gonna give you a link cus you wont get it anyway and it will seem pretentios. The other blog is pretty random, but kinda funny. It can be seen at www.blowitoutyour.blogspot.com. If I knew what I was doing I coulda made that an actual link but as weve already stated, I dont.

So what have I been up to lately you might be asking yourself? Well this is the last week of classes before finals, so naturally Ive been doing all the shit I put off doing all semester long. I had like 83 drawings and a 100 page notebook due in life drawing today, and drew like a madman all night long to get it done. Lets just say that this class has secured my desire to be a COMPUTER design major. Its so much neater and cleaner on computer. No messy charcol hands, no wrinkeling tearing of paper, no gross black dust on your tissue when you blow your nose. Thank God thats done with, only 9,048 more life drawing classes to go. Then theres math. Im not even gonna talk about it. And the internet class. They asked us to take this survey telling them what we thought about the course, and I did. I really hope they respond.

Memorial Day was fun stuff. Since I was conviniently abandoned by all my friends, Shanna in San Fran, J, K, Paul and Ben in Big Bear, I went to Marleighs for our now tradtional monday night fiesta. Its not really a party cus its just Kat, Marleigh and I but you get the idea. This night was pretty entertaining. No drugged up Spanish Boys on the steps, but lots o' food, alcohol and party games. We started with food. I dont know what they were thinking but there was massive amounts of food for just 3 people. Kat made some pasta salad stuff, I made burgers, Marleigh made kabobs and cabbage salad and they got corn and some other stuff too. Getting the barbaque lit was an adventure in itself since Marleigh has a strict "no lighter fuel" policy. Dont ask me. So after the food we were all a lil tipsy and decided to play "I never". Its a drinking game where you say something you have or have not done, and if you have done it you take a sip, and if you havent you dont. So the point is you are forced to admit embarrasing things, all the while drinking more, thereby lowering your inhibitions to lie. Lets just say we learned some pretty interesting things. Of course after the first round every question was about sex...and Im proud to say that Kat and Marleigh are two of the horniest people Ive ever met, and I am now well aware of their personal grooming habits in their nether regions. This is what Memorial Day is all bout kids. So eventually we decided to go to the grocery store to buy chips, this always happens at some point, and next to the grocery store theres a Hollywood Video. Kat asks if anyone wants porn, so we go in and low and behold theres no porn section. We make Kat ask anyway and they say no. So we went to this Erotic Botique down the street. It was quite possibly one of the funniest moments ever. First off we walk in the door and the "person" sitting behind the counter gets up and is of unusually large proportions. Im used to seeing the occasional hefty person now and then but this was obesity at its finest. And the weird part was "it" had moderatly fat arms and legs, and an excessively fat belly and midsection. Sort of like a clown. And I use the word "it" because it was just that. Its sex was completely unable to be determined. It had long blonde hair, clean shaven legs, and sort of girlish full lips, but wasnt wearing make up and had shorts and a purple polo shirt on. But the voice was as deep as mine. You decide. Kat being her vocal self tried to make friends and determine a sex, so they got into a discussion about who has the biggest wang in porn, and Kat introduced herself, and asked it its name. It sort of mumbled something that sounded like "Felicia" but again, I just dont know. So anyways it turns out all the porn in this place is like $60 so we go home and watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks instead. After its over Kat decides she wants porn again so we try to order pay per view which had " Nude Bowling Party" but the PVP button on the remote didnt work. We eventually found some soft porn on Cinemax, but it wasnt quite the same cus there was no actual penetration. This one chick was having sex with a guys stomach. Like whats the point of inferring it but not actually doing it? After Kat expressed her need to see some Lesbian porn we flipped through channels but no luck. It was time to call it a night. Overall not a bad Memorial Day.

In music news Im in desperation of some new CD's. Like for reals. The new Weezer was ok the first 20 times or so but Im so over it. It actually makes me wanna hear the first two cds whenever I hear it, but someone stole Pinkerton. Ive been listening to Coldplay alot. Thats a really really good album. Best Ive heard in a while actually. Hopefully they dont pull a Radiohead and forget how to play guitar 4 albums down the road. Damn that was harsh! Sorry. Marleighs been listening to this band "Mates of State" who are really good...sort of Rainer Maria-ish. Shes gonna make me a copy cus shes my bitch like that. Other than that Ive been regressing to the begining of my cd collection. I busted out Greenday, Nirvana, Alice In Chains and STP. So 1994. If anyone knows of any good new bands or cds, email me, Im all ears.

Oh I had a totally surreal moment the other day I wanted to tell you about. Im driving up PCH towards the Pallisades to get Sherry's mail, and theres this white van behind me with 3 mexican guys sitting up front. The streets are all fucked up cus theyre doing construction so its down to one lane. While stopped at a light, all of a sudden, one of the guys throws a plastic vagina up on the dashboard, and the guy driving it starts fingering it!!! I am so not making this up, I saw the whole thing in my rearview mirror. I was stunned at first because they werent like laughing or joking or anything. They were just kickin back driving up the coast taking turns fingering a plastic vagina. For those of you not into sex toys, its just a big rubber ass thats sort of spread and has one butt hole and one hoo hah. Now the thing I dont get is #1, if you own a plastic vagina, why would you bring it in the car? Did one of these guys just decide, "hey lets bring the plastic vagina with us today!" #2, if youre gonna finger it, why would you put it on the dashboard? and #3, were their hands clean? Anyways, once traffic started going again the guy driving just threw it in the back of the van. I wasnt dreaming this, I promise.

Ok I think thats enough for now. Is it just me or was this whole blog sexual in nature? I think its from spending so much time at Marleighs house. Its like the epicenter of sexual energy. Im gonna go read the bible or something. Later dudes.

Saturday, May 26, 2001

Hot Damn!! Look at that sexy new color scheme!!

Thursday, May 24, 2001

Hello and how are you? I, my friends, am lucky to be alive. Haha not really, but I did have a slightly life threatening yet very funny monday night. Lets start at the begining. This weekend at work Kat, Marleigh and I decided to have another lil Riggins Rooftop Resort party at Marleighs place monday night. Kat promises dinner and another installment of her one woman rooftop show. So we all show up around 9 and Kat makes a pretty tasty dinner. Afterwards we retire to the roof where the show begins. This time she even made programs, diagraming the night into different acts. The first act was the vocal warm up and stretching. After this came a hott re-creation of a Brittney Spears video. Then some more Annie and Paula Abdul dance moves. So by act 4, Kats worked up a hunger for dessert and decides she wants cup cakes. So the three of us decided to go to Albertsons, right up the the street. As were leaving the apartment we notice this strange young Spanish boy roaming the hallways of the building. He appears to be about 14 or 15 and not in full control of himself. So half way out the building Marleigh remembers she forgot something in her apartment and heads back inside. Kat and I go out to the car and when Marleigh comes back she seems a bit unnerved. It seems as she was leaving her place the Spanish kid was in her doorway and tried to push past her into the apartment. Being the Supergirl that she is she pushed him away and ran out to the car where she called 911. And let me just say its a good thing no one was dying cus 911 was busy the first three times she called. So finally after explaining what happened six times they agree to send a cop car over. So we head off to Albertsons and see the cops coming down the street. Once at the store Kat decides she wants frozen pizza instead and Marleigh and I get some really good Samoa Girl Scout Cookie Ice Cream. We spend about 20 minutes or so browsing in the store then head back to the apartment. As we walk through the halls we notice the Spanish kid is gone and I ask what shed do if he was in her apartment in her bed wearing her underwear? Can you say foreshadowing? So once inside the apartment Kat makes her pizza and Marleigh and I eat ice cream and we hang out for about half and hour when we notice odd spotlights being shone on the balcony. We wait about 5 minutes and then decide to go up on the roof and see what it was. Being the brave guy that I am I go first up the steps and make it about half way up when I notice a leg hanging over the side of the railing. A dark skinned hair leg. Just the type that would belong to a Spanish kid. And sure enough what do you know, its the Spanish kid, passed out on her steps. I stare in amazement, Marleigh gasps, and Kat grabs some knives. We start yelling to him but hes obvioiusly out cold. Just then the door to the roof busts open and its the cops. They yell to the Spanish kid as well but he still doesnt respond so they grab him by his arm and pick him up like a wet rag. Hes barely able to walk so they cuff him and throw him on the ground. We met some other people from the building up on the roof who gave us the lowdown on what happened. Apparently he climbed up the fire escape, 3 stories, and when he got to the top was swaying around and nearly fell off. He then climbed up on to the roof and asked the people up there for some "ladies y cervesas" and they told him they didnt have any. They assumed he actually lived in the building and let him crash on Marleighs hammock. Eventually he woke up and went into her appartment but only made it half way down the steps. This is where he laid while we ate pizza and icecream and joked about him being in the apartment. Hah. So the cops hauled him off and I went back home to sleep in my nice safe bed, in my nice safe house with doors that lock, lucky to be alive. Not that I couldnt have taken him or anything.

This was probably the funniest thing to happen all month, except earlier tonight when I was at Shanna's. We were sitting in her room, I on her bed, she at her computer and all of a sudden I notice a spider on her head. Just taking a little stroll down the part in her hair. Through hysterical laughter I manage to tell her that theres a spider on her head and she freaks out and goes beserk flinging the spider and her head band across the room. Then she starts screaming and dancing and runs out of the room. She comes back 10 seconds later and goes where is it? And I say I dunno, but it was beige-ish orange and big. Just then she screams and points to my leg and what do you know hes back. Hahaha. So I start laughing again and flick it across the room, somwhere into the void of her underwear pile. Funny funny stuff I tells ya.

Oh celebrity sightings!! I have a good one too!! The first was on friday on my way to work I stopped off at the 7-11 on Fairfax to get a Slurpee and a Balance bar and whos coming out as Im going in?? Pauly Shore!! The weeasal himself!! It was all I could do to control myself from going "sup buuuuudy!" He drives a big maroon Suburban. Then Tuesday night, Shanna, The Twins, Greg, Paul and Ben and I go to the Cows End and we saw the little red haired girl from Growing Pains up top in back. Is she really a celebrity? I think she was just in that Growing Pains reunion they had a while back but I missed it. Pauly Shore is definetly cooler.

One last rant before I go to bed. Am I the only one whos noticed lately that the nightly news is all about Hollywood these days? Seriously the top news stories tonight were about Robert Blake and what other celebrities think about him, (and for the record I still dont know who this guy is, what he was in or why anyone cares), Nicole Kidmans stalker, what networks won the sweeps ratings, and the emotional good by of Angie Harmon on the set of Homicide or whatever dumb show she was on. How is this news?? I though thats what Entertainment Tonight was for. Theres actual things happening in the world and were watching Gary Busey talk about his relationship with Robert Blake. Is it like this in the rest of the country or just L.A.? Im moving to Canada.

Oh I got the new Weezer. Is it just me or did they pull a Blink 182? Dont get me wrong I love the Weez and all but they shoulda just put a sticker on the album that says "intended for girls age 14-17 only". Nothing could top the blue album and it seems thats what they were trying to do. Or at least re create it. But this album seems to be lacking something. It just sounds like a bunch of 2 minute generic pop songs to me. Also whyd it take 5 years to make a 25 minute album? By my calculations thats 2, 2 1/2 minute songs a year, over 5 years. And track 6 is straight up Ozma. And why did I attempt to download a supposed new Weezer B side on Gnutella last night and after twenty minutes I have an Ozma song??? Thats some fucked up shit right there. Actually I did get some B sides though and oddly they were really good, way better than any song on the album. Theyre playing the Mtv awards with Destinys Child next week and theyre filming it right across the street from the Twins house. William Delaware and I am so there.

Allrighty. Its bed time. Goodnight kids, and Godbless.

Tuesday, May 15, 2001

Right now Im watching the most disturbing thing Ive ever seen. Its a documentary on HBO about little kids in beauty pageants, and what psychotic freaks of nature they are. Seriously its so messed up I cant even believe its real. Its the full on white trash family in the middle of hicksville. Complete with cracked out bleach blonde mother with 75 year old toothless boyfriend, and 8 other kids, one named Bubba ( I swear this is true), all of whom starve to death emotionally and physically so that they can afford to fly around the country to beatuy pageants with the prize winning pig daughter Swan. And its getting more fucked up every minute. She just told her daughter who doesnt want to wear her lucky star earrings cus that if she doesnt wear her lucky star earrings and her team loses, it will be all her fault for not wearing her lucky star earrings. Then they took this 6 month old to the two flaming homosexual "pageant coaches" to have her her first hair weave. There is a reason 6 month olds dont have hair. These people are interferring with the course of nature. Im changing the channel. Howard Stern is on, and Id rather watch freaks who are freaks by choice.

So Radiohead is coming. And for those of you who dont know I have quite a history with seeing Radiohead. Or lack there of really. For some reason the last 4 times Radiohead came to California I couldnt get tickets to any of thier shows. However I have managed to see them 3 times. Actually see them twice and hear them once. The first time was at the Kroq Accoustic Xmas in 95...or 96. This was pretty awesome actually. When they toured for Ok Computer I was first inline for tickets at 6am until they handed out wristbands and I didnt even get to stand in line. Luckily some friends got tickets but we were litterally in the very top last row of the Universal Ampitheater way in the corner. It was still awesome though. Then last year they played the Greek for one of thier two US shows and did I get tickets? Nope. But my pals and I hiked our asses up into the bushes behind the stadium and got to hear 10 amazing songs before the Forrest Rangers kicked us out. Still pretty awesome though. So this sunday, mothers day, tickets went onsale for two Santa Barbra Bowl shows. First off, the Santa Barbra Bowl rocks. We saw Hole there 2 years ago and it was easily the best show of my life. Theres basically no security there so Courtney caused a huge riot and we ended up sitting onstage for half of thier set. This is where I touched Melissa's sweat towel and drank from her cup. But thats another story. So I get in line at Tower Records for tickets and to my surprise theres only about 15 people in line. This is because the shows are 2 hours north in Santa Barba and were barely advertised in LA. So I figure if theres only 15 people in line at Tower theres probably less around the corner at Wherehouse. I walk over and theres like 10 people in line. Feeling pretty good I get in line and at 11:30 this chick comes out and goes " we can pretty much garuntee all of you tickets so were gonna take your orders now". Yeah fucking right. So she takes all the orders and at 12:00 the tickets go onsale and she comes back out and says, " we only got two tickets, and im not even joking." Fucking idiots do not know how to work a computer. So I run over to Tower and see that the 15 people who were in line when I got there had all got tickets and there now were 15 new people in line. I cross my fingers and join them but because this is me, the person in front of me gets the last 4 tickets. Fuck this shit.

Just then when I think life sucks enough, God decides to put a lil salt in the wound. I get to my car, and notice that somehow between my car and Tower Records my car key fell off my key chain. This ladies and gentleman is my life. So after searching all of Marina Del Rey I go back to my car. I still had the alarm remote so I was able to get into my car, I just couldnt start it. I begin calling friends to come rescue me but beings that its mothers day morning no ones around. Finally I get a hold of Shanna and she comes to my rescue. However while waiting in my car I somehow notice this tiny compartment to the left of the steering wheel Ive never noticed until today. I open that bitch up and whats inside but a spare key. This really is my life beacuse its not bad enough that I get stranded, but I have to feel like an ass when I realize I could of found this key and been home 3 hours ago. I rule.

Later on at work Im talking with Marleigh and since she didnt get tickets either, we decide to take a lil road trip and go see them in San Francisco. This is cool cus Ive never been to San Fran and I have a bunch of pals I can visit while Im up there. (Shout outs to Nicole, Anh, and Chris!! - WORD!!) So I call Shanna and shes down for a road trip and I buy 3 tickets online for the Shoreline Amphitheater show June 27th. Rock N Roll. The best part is I get to take William Delaware, my inflatable sheep, on our lil road trip where there will be lots of photo opportunities at highway signs and shady truckstops. He's destined for stardom.

So I guess theres a happy ending to the story after all. Actually I take that back, lets just see how the trip goes first. Mabye Ill lose my car keys in San Fran. That would rock. Later dudes.

Monday, May 07, 2001

School School School School Work Work Work. Welcome to my life. 4 days of mind nummingly boring classes, then 3 days of braincell killing work. I rule. This week was pretty dull. The high point was monday night when Jackie, Kristy, Ben, Greg, Shanna, and myself went to the Cows End and were harassed by this crazy homeless man named Charlie. It was actually extremely funny. He was probably in his late 60's and kinda looked like James Brown. He was wearing leather pants and a snakeskin jacket so I dont think he was that homeless. He also had an out of tune guitar with him, and the first thing he did when we sat down was ask us if he could play a song for us. So he did, and he also informed us that he was Chuck Berry's nephew. So he sang us this crazy blues song, although he wasnt playing any actual notes, and then when Shanna went to answer her cell phone he stopped singing and said "God damnit woman shut yo mouth!!" It was majorly funny. So he played us this song about how his wife died and his son was shot by the Cripps and he also mentioned in it that his father was Chuck Berry and he went to highschool with Tina Turner. He was clearly nutty. The funniest part though was that I had brought along my inflatable sheep, Bill, and a camera to take some pics for his website at the beach. So before we left Charlie I strategically placed Bill on a couch next to him and snapped a pic. Charlie was kind of surprised but I got the shot nonetheless.

The rest of the week was pretty much downhill after this. Wednesday night we all went to Jackie and Kristy's screening of thier animation major thesis cartoon. It was pretty cool. We saw a bunch actually and some were kinda lame. Most of the other ones were all computer animation which kinda bugs me cus they alwas look like they could be done better. Jandks was a regular cartoon though and was inspired by an experience Shanna and I had at Subway last year. I wont get into it all here, but basically it involves a crabby mexican lady with a heavily accented high pitched voice making sandwhiches. All the voices were done by Shanna and yours truly so of course it was pretty hilarous. Aww we were so proud. Afterwards we went to Jerrys Deli and got overpriced ommlettes.

Thursday night Shanna and I had a lil Survivor Finale Party at her place. It was pretty crazy, but I must say Im quite happy Tina won. I woulda been happier had it been Elisabeth or Kimmi, but at least Tina is pretty cool. That was kinda cheesy though how they waited to announce the winner live and all had them 6 months later wearing the same clothes but weighing 50 lbs more and with hollywood hair and makeup. That helicopter went right over my office building too. It was also pretty funny how Debb just sat in the back whole time with that face. And how Mad dog played that stick. And how Jerri is such a cunt. Where do they find these freaks?

Not much else happened until Saturday, Cinco De Mayo. Marleigh had a party. Actually it was just Marleigh, her roomates, Kat and her friend but we had a pretty good time. Marleigh has a kick ass apartment in Mar Vista with a really cool roof where we hung out and consummed alcoholic beverages. Kat was totally drunk and was singing Annie the musical at the top of her lungs over all of Venice Beach. She also had dickmouth, but I really wont get into that. It was fun times. Except that I had to work early Sunday morning, a double shift no less. Doubles on 4 hours of sleep rule. We pretty much tried to work as little as possible today. Marleigh and I went to the Farmers Market for lunch and then went on a emergency slurpee break later on. They have the coolest thing now! A slurpee cup that has 3 separate compartmens!! So you can get 3 different flavors and they wont mix!! This is seriously the best invention since peanutbutter and jelly in the same jar.

So sadly that was my week. How much longer till summer? I seriously dont wanna go to school this week. Blehhhh. Later.

Monday, April 30, 2001

This weekend was pretty crazy. Friday night was Jets to Brazil and it was awesome. Beings that Im not a guy who enjoys opening bands we showed up at 9:30 hoping Jets would be on next, but we had to see one opener. I dont even know who it was. They werent bad. But I just didnt care. The crowd at the El Rey was running rampant with black rimmed glasses and Jack Purcells, typical indie fans, although No Knife and Pedro the Lion were also playing this night so it was noticably thinned. We got a cool spot on the right side against the wall so we had chairs to stand on. The only bad thing was this really retarded girl was standing next to us who kept making these annoying ass squeeking noises. I think she didnt know how to whistle so she was just shreiking like a dolphin and Shanna wanted to pound her. So Jets played and they were really really awesome. They did a pretty good mix of old and new stuff and I even taped part of "One Summer Last Fall" on my cell phone as my outgoing message. I was quite pleased. This reminds me actually, I had orderd all this stuff from Jade Tree like a month ago and they totally screwed up the order and took forever to send it, so they just sent me all this free stuff. Stickers, buttons, and a coool JTB poster. Pretty hip stuff.

So saturday I started working at the new office. Its pretty crazy. Its in a big building in Hollywood and we share it with a Photographer and a Casting Agency so when I got there there were like 25 elderly mexican ladies outside waiting to be auditoned for something. We are actually in the front of the building which is currently being remodeld so were all crammed into this tiny lil room that used to be the makeup room. The job is pretty much the same except now we have all the models and actors running past our doors. Later in the day they had all these "dancers" aka strippers auditioning. It was pretty cool. I was thinking mabye they cast for Porno's. That would rule. The best part about the new office is that there is no Subway near by. I fucking hate Subway. I eat it every day of my life. I cant even help it. I hate it. Theres just nothing else. But not anymore. I have officially broken free. Actually were right down the street from Canters and the Farmers Market so things are really looking up.

Saturday night Shanna and I went to see Blow. We went to the theater on the Prominade in Santa Monica so once we had our tickets we mosied about for a while. And this is where things took a turn for the best. We went into Dom which is a weird furniture/home/design store and this is where my life took an unexpected turn. I am pleased to announce I am now the proud father of an inflatable sheep. He comes from the Fiji Mountains and I named him William Delaware Dickens. Or Billy D. if you will. I waited till after the movie to inflate him but when I did, he was the star of the Prominade. He was like a moviestar on a red carpet. Everyone was pointing and staring and saying "who is that sexy inflatable sheep??" I was the envy of everyone there. And I cant blame them really, he is one hott sheep. I think Im gonna make him his own website. It will have pictures, a fanclub, and perhaps a blog that hell write in everyday. Of course Ill have to help cus G4 keyboards arent exactly compatable with hooves. I can just see it now, Bill will be the star of the internet. Watch out Cindy Margolis, Billy D is soon to be the most downloaded person on the internet!! And theres nothing you can do to stop him!!

So Blow was really really good. Im all about 70's movies and this one was just awesome. Everyone in it was really good too. Even Johnny Depp. I didnt think about Edward Sciorhands once. I would highly reccomend this film to anyone. Its kinda sad, especially the end but really well done and totally interesting. Go see it. Oh we also finally watched the Virgin Suicides this week. It too was really really good. Definetly rent it. Give me a piece of Kirsten Dunst.

Oh I have a new TV obsession. Bands on the Run on vh1. Its a new reality show where they follow 4 bands around from city to city and they all try to outsell each other in ticketsales and merchandise. And after 5 cities the band with the least money made gets kicked off. Im rooting for the chick band. They are pretty hot and their music is pretty cool, but their name is "Harlow". They wont make it anywhere with that name. The other bands have pretty bad names too. Flickerstick who are all 3rd Eye Blind, Soul Cracker who I dont even know why they chose that name cus theres like 60 other bands with "soul" and "cracker" in their names, and John Doads Band or something like that who think they are Dave Mathews Band. I wonder of Vh1 came up with these names.They seriously suck. Anyways, Im rooting for the chicks. Oh and in Survivor news, Im officially never watching it again. They done kicked Elisabeth off!! Bastards!!! Why cant the cute chick ever win?? Mabye shell get a Chapstick commerical out of it.

I guess thats it for now. I have to go make a webpage for my waste of life Intro to the Internet Class. Its gonna be about mullets. Haha my teachers foreign and so doesnt get it. Hahaha. Later!!

Monday, April 23, 2001

Tonight the greatest thing imaginable happened. No joke, my life is now complete. I saw Heather B. from the original Real World, live, in the flesh. And what precious flesh it was. It was fate I tell you. I got off work at 10:00 and met, J and K, and Paul and Ben and the Hollywood Allstar Lanes Bowling Alley on Santa Monica blvd. It was just a normal night, nothing out of the ordinary, but as I walked into the bowling alley, suddenly my world changed for ever. What I saw cannot be described in words. It was as if God had created an image of perfection and displayed her in front of me. And her name was Heather B. My jaw dropped to the floor as I realized it was her. At first my brain doubted what my eyes saw. "Could this be real? Or is it just my imagination?" Ladies and Gentleman, it was the truth. For next to her stood Norman, the gay guy from the very same Real World. I knew now this was no hallucination, it was real. And my heart began to skip a beat. I slowed down as I walked past her to get a good look, and as I heard her voice, it became clear, the moment had arrived. I was face to face with my one true soul mate, Heather B. I then found my friends and alerted them of her presence. They didnt believe me at first either. But who could blame them really? Soon they too bore witness to her holiness. It was a grand, grand day. I then reached for my cell phone to call Shanna and inform her of the greatness that had occurred, but alas there was no reception deep with in the bowling alley, so I made my way outside, where I saw yet even more sexual greatness. Jacinda the model from Real World London. Much hotter in person might I add. What is this I ask myself, a Real World Reunion?? If I see Kameela I just wont know what to do with myself. I informed Shanna of the life changing events that had taken place and she also did not believe me at first, but by hearing the tone of my voice, she soon realized the seriousness of the matter. Heather B is nothing to joke about. Sadly my dreams were shattered shortly, as my friends were done bowling and were ready to leave. As I waited in line to check out, I took one final glance into my true loves eyes, feeling her soul and touching her spirit, I tried my hardest to absorb everything about the moment, so that I would never forget it. In reality it was just a quick chance meeting with my true love and soulmate, lasting mabye only 10 minutes. But it will last forever in my mind.

Saturday, April 21, 2001

*Viva Las Vegas* Part Two:

As we peered up at the massive tower the excitement began. Shanna was all dumb and scared as usual, but we went inside and bought our tickets. It was like $11 bucks. Whats up with that? So we get in the elevator and begin our climb up and our ears being to pop. What a suck job that must be to run that elevator all day. Once were at the top its pretty much night allready and the view is insane. Last year we were there during the day and it was cool, but at night its hella cool. We notice theres a big line for the Big Shot ride so we get in it and wait. As we are standing till we notice the room swaying. This wasnt exactly a comforting feeling, but it was weird cus we seemed to be the only ones who noticed. After another elevator ride we reached the top and Shanna began whining. "I change my mind!" "I dont wanna go!". Bah I say!! I force her to get in the seat, even though I know shed never waste the $11 and go back down. So its kinda like a Freefall ride where youre strapped in to a seat that shoots you up the side of the building and then drops you. I didnt really know what to expect cus usually these arent too scary, but this one was pretty crazy. They were playing cheesy ass music which was lame, but once we were strapped in, they just count down and it blasts you off super fast. So you go up like a couple hundred feet at least, not to mention you are allready like 1000 feet off the ground on top of the tower. And right when you get to the top, it stops for like 2 seconds, just long enough for your brain to realize how high you are. And the scary part is, at the very top you cant see any of the building below you, so its kinda freaky. Then all of a sudden it drops you and you see all the lights getting closer and closer and your ass actually leaves the seat for a moment. Pretty cool. Then it hits the bottom and you sorta bounce back up, but not quite as high. They shoot you up and down a few times, but its not a freefall so its not really scary.But that freefall in the begining is definetly worth the $11.

So we get off the ride and this is where the comedy begins. We walk around the outside for a while. Stop to pay our respects in the spot where Heather B. once bungeed on the Real World Challange. To think I could have stepped where her perfect and beautiful feet had once stood. Siiiiiigh. Anyways we see this sign that says "Ride Again" so we walk over to this booth with a man selling tickets. He is an elderly man, with cold blue eyes and a long wild beard. (Picture that old man in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade who has to guard the Holy Grail) "How much is it to ride again?" I ask. He says $3, with a bit of an attitude. We look around and see people waiting and begin to ask if we have to wait in line again or if we can just get on the ride, only he doesnt let us finish the question. He interjects in a thick, mean toned english accent, "GO THROUGH THE GLASS DOORS BEHIND YOU THAT SAY RIDE ACCESS!!!!" This is great but we wanna know if we have to wait in a line. I ask again, "But is there a line to ride again?" He replies with even more anger and hostility, actually yelling at us, " TURN AROUND WALK THREE STEPS BEHIND YOU AND THERE IS A GLASS DOOR THAT SAYS RIDE ACCESS!!! GO THROUGH THAT DOOR TO RIDE AGAIN!!!!" All with a Sean Connery like accent. So I just start laughing cus hes obviously gone nutty, perhaps because of the altitude, and Shanna gets pissed and we decide not to spend the $3 just cus this guy is such an idiot. We walk away from his little table, but close enough so he can still hear and see us and we laugh and make fun of him so he can see. For the rest of the trip, the catch phrase remains, " TURN AROUND AND WALK 3 STEPS BEHIND YOU THROUGH THE GLASS DOOR THAT SAYS RIDE ACCESS!!!". Hah.

So we head back down to ground level and hop back on the bus. Granted Las Vegas busses are alot nicer than L.A.'s, but we just happened to get on one that was like an episode of Jerry Springer realized. It was straight up white trash salad. This family, who were all so closely related in age it was impossible to tell who was mother - father, or brother - sister, sat in front of us and we watched the mother/sister pick her nose the whole ride home. And i dont mean a casual nose brush here or there, I mean legit digging for burried treasure. Like for minutes at a time. We also saw the father/brother scratch his balls a few times. Las Vegas public transportation rules. This time we get off the bus a little early and go to the world largest gift store. Let me just say this place fucking rules!! We went here last time too. They have so much cool cheesy vegas stuff its insane. They have everything from golden dice with bling blingin diamonds to tacky turquiose jewelry in any animal shape imaginable.I got a crap load of cool stuff...A green plastic Las Vegas Visor, 2 gigantic plastic goldfish, a hat that says "I lost my A__ in Vegas,and some really cool monkeys wearing fez's salt and pepper shakers. Vegas gift shops rule.

So as for the rest of our time spent in Vegas nothing too exciting happend. I mean it cant really get much better than the worlds largest gift shop. We visited a bunch more hotels and the Mandalay Bay was by far the hippest. They had all these cool resturants, one called Areole or something thats all neatly designed and has this massive glowing wine tower in the middle. And another cool one called Rumjungle which was also a hip club. We actually broke our no buffet rule and had thier buffet but it was actually really good. We also checked out the Gameworks arena down the street which was kinda crazy. They had this cool indoor rock climbing wall that I wanted to do but Shanna wouldnt do it with me. She also wouldnt do thiis cool video game where you stand infront of this blue wall and do kung fu moves and you actually fight each other on screen. What a loser. But we did play knock hockey.

For our last day we decided to have a day of relaxation and we both got massages. I think this was my favorite part of the trip acutally. It was all relaxing and the two minutes they rubbed my feet were quite possibly the two greatest minutes of my life. After our massages and hours spent lounging in the saunas and whirlpools we checked out of the hotel and went to do some last minute shopping before our flight home. We went back to Mandalay Bay for lunch where Shanna found some great wooden chopsticks and bowls. Only Shanna would go to Vegas and come back with wooden chopsticks and bowls. We also went back to the Virgin Megastore because when I had bought Stephen Malkmus, which rocks by the way, it came with this Virgin Mix CD which was seriously the coolest free CD ive ever seen. It has Stephen Malkmus, Hooverphonic, Old 97's, Black Eyed Peas, Badly Drawn Boy, American Hi Fi, The Donnas, At the Drive In, and this cool band I went back to Virgin to buy, called Sigur Ros. Im not sure how you pronounce it, but they are really really cool. Theyre playing Coachella with Weezer and the Dandies, but Im not going. So after Virgin we went to this M&M store that has all the worlds tackiest M&M merchandise available. We got some weird colored M&M's like beige, turquoise, and grey, and a few Chupachup Lollipops for the plane ride home and the n got our bags and headed to the airport. Because this is us, and this had been a good vacation, something had to go wrong, so our plane was delayed 2 hours. We sat in the Las Vegas airport and watched Ally McBeal and blind date with strangers and then finnally got home. Jandk picked us up, what pals.

And so you have it. My Spring Vacation. I think weve all learned a few valuable lessons here. #1) gambling is for suckers, #2) dont fly Southwest Airlines, and #3) nothing is funnier than crabby old englishmen with beards. Viva Las Vegas.

Tuesday, April 17, 2001

*Viva Las Vegas* Part One:

Actually I should call this "Viva Lost Wages" cus I have ultimately decided that gambling is for suckers. I didnt win jack. I didnt lose much because fortounetly I came to this realization early on but still, I have no luck whatsoever. Anyhows, after our extremely turbulent flight our stewardess sang us this little song over the speaker about Lost Wages which was pretty funny. Shanna and I then took a cab to our hotel and managed to stiff the driver on his tip cus we didnt know how much to give. It was an $11.50-something ride so I gave him $13 bucks. Then we asked the check in guy at our hotel and he said apparently this was way to little. Oh well. So we stayed at the Flamingo Hilton which was straight up Miami Vice. Palmtrees, Flamingos and neon pink everywhere. Our room was straight out of 1985 but pretty nice. Not pretty nice was the buffet. We were starving when we got there so we decided to shell out $15 for the Flamingo Buffet and this was a major mistake. Theres nothing worse than nasty mass produced low quality food on an empty stomach, and I payed the price. Needless to say we then implemented the "NO MORE BUFFETS" rule for the rest of the trip.

The coolest part about our hotel was that it was right in the center of the strip so we were right in all the action. Oh and there was rumored to be wild Cooters running about around our hotel but we didnt see any. So we checked out the strip and first went to Ceasers Palace which was right across the street. They had this whole mall inside with crazy moving statues and cool stores. There was a neat FAO Schwartz with a bunch of cool toys , a Diesel store, and a great big Virgin Megastore. We had gotten a coupon for 20% off at the Virgin store so I got some cool CD's. The new Steve Malkmus which I havent even listend to yet but I hear is really good, and I also found the Garbage single for You Look So Fine. I think I previously mentioned my recent obsession with this song so I was pretty psyched to find the CD. So eventually we made our way back into Ceaser's Casino, which is where Shanna developed her new addiction. It actually started the last time we were in vegas, but she has a slight obsession with those Pusher machines, where you drop a coin in and it lands with the rest and little arms go in and out pushing them all forward, and the ones that fall over the edge you win. Its always "so close" that "just one more" will make you win. Just ask Shanna. After about an hour I finally pulled her away from the machine and we went galavanting down the strip. We ended up at the MGM Grand where we gambled for a lil while and drank a bunch of free cocktails to keep the glasses to keep as souvineers. Then we went to Fat Tuesdays and had some beverages and cherry bombs and tipsly made it back on the trams to our hotel.

The next day we mosied...(or is that moesied?) down the strip and checked out a few more hotels and ended back at Ceasers for lunch and of course more Coin Pusher machines. After I was able to pull Shanna away from the machine, kicking and screaming we hopped our cheap asses on the bus and went down to the Stratosphere. The moment of truth had arrived......

Friday, April 13, 2001

Im going to Las Vegas in approximately 12 hours and I am so procrastinating over packing I decided to Blog. Bahhh. Im staying at the Flamingo Hilton if anyone wants to come visit me. I hope I win some money. I also really wanna go on that Big Shot ride on top of the Stratosphere. Or mabye bungee jumping at Circus Circus. Who can say really.

Crazy stuffs goindown at work. The companys splitting up and I gotta choose devil #1 or devil #2. Actually its not that bad. Buts it drama none the less. If i had a dollar for every whispered rumor or "private meeting" thats gone on in the last 3 days I could tell them all to go fuck themselves and not work for a year. Dont get me wrong though its still better than Urban Outfitters.

Craig Kilborn is so funny. I used to be all about Conan, but lately his voices and nerdy facial expressions are getting on my nerves. Every time a celebrity starts to tell a story he justs interrupts them and drags it out with a face or funny voice. But Craig is all about the random funny. His news clips are hilarious too. Theres this one of a chubby 7 year old black girl in a catholic school uniform who goes " I say it was funny!!" all with attitude. My God she is hilarious. And the rodeo guy with the bruised face rules too. I reckon Im gonna get tickets to see a taping of his show. That would be jive.

So Make Out Club has made me the most popular guy on AOL. For reals I get non stop IM's whenever Im online from punk/emo/mod/rockabilly chicks. Special shout out to Marleigh for telling all the 15 year old girls out there to look me up =) . The funny part is theyre all happy to have found a 22 year old guy interested in 15 year olds. The internet is a scary scary place.

Oh I heard Palo Alto is opening for Phantom Planet at the Glasshouse on the 21st. Does anyone know if this is true? Please email me at Punkmonkeydeluxe@aol.com if you know. Palo Alto is so awesome. But are they worth sitting through the screaming hoardes of 15 year olds there for Phantom Planet? Wait a minute Ill probably know them all from Make Out Club. I am so there. Pedro the Lions also playing that night. And Jets to Brazils a week after that. So many shows so little time.

Ok im gonna go pack now. Wish me luck in the city of sin. Viva Las Vegas!!

Sunday, April 08, 2001

Tonight my work had it 1 year anniversary party at Ed Debevics in Beverly Hills. It was fun times. We had lots of food and drinks and party action and they payed for the whole thing. Urban Outfitters would never even dream of doing this. Id never been to Ed Debevics before, it was some crazy mess. All singing and dancing on the tables. Yowza! It was good timing too cus Jackie, Kristy and Paul just got hired this week, thanks to me no doubt, so they got to come and now have the pleasure of working with me too. It must be their lucky day.

So I got the Josie and the Pussycats Soundtrack. Its kinda weird, but good. Its produced by the most random group of people ever. Its got Adam Duritz from Cownting Crowes, Jane Wiedlin from the Go Gos, Anna Waronker from That Dog, Matthew Sweet and believe it or not Babyface. Dont ask me. Also Kay Hanley who does all the vocals, and her former Letters to Cleo bandmate Michael Einstein write and produce on the album. Ive only listend to it once straight through but it seems like the first half of the album is really cool and 2nd half isnt. Theres two tracks that are straight up boy band that I just dont get. I hope its supposed to be a joke. Theres also some covers of Real Wild Child and Money that are kinda eh. I still think Kay shouldbe getting way more credit for this.

So Spring Break 2001 is here and Im happy to say I have a destination! Shanna and I were gonna go on this cruise but it was way over priced so we decided to take a last minute trip to Vegas. The city of sin. We booked the whole thing online and its really cheap. Like $270 per person including airfare on Southwest for 4 days at the Flamingo Hilton. Cool eh? So we leave friday afternoon and come back monday night. And this time I am so going on that ride at the top of the Stratosphere. We tried to go last year but it was too windy. It should be pretty hip stuff.

Saturday Night Live is so not funny right now. Im watching Howard Stern. This chick Croy is on and shes fucking nuts. I dont know where he finds these people. Beetlejuice is the best though. Nothing is funnier than Beetlejuice. If you dont believe me, check out www.jollydwarf.com and see for yourself.

So I joined that Make Out Club website I previously mentioned and Ive been Mr. Popularity ever since. For reals Ive gotten like 20 IMs from chicks ive never met before in the last 2 days. Too bad theyre all 15. Hah oh well. Im outti! Lata!!

Monday, April 02, 2001

I was gonna try to start this blog with a cheesy, somewhat obvious april fools day lie, but im too tired to think of one. Nobody even attempted to play any tricks on me today. Thats a first I think. However Marliegh and I created an awesome one at work this morning. Hehehehe. We made up all these flyers that said Thom Yorke of Radiohead would be playing a live accoustic set today at 4 pm, inside Urban Outfitters down the block on Melrose, and we posted them all up and down the street. We also went into a bunch of Los Angeles chat rooms and spread the word, and sure enough at 4 oclock there was a small crowd gathered out front of Urban with puzzled looks on thier faces. Hahahaha. Its kinda mean but anyone who knows Radiohead would know this would never happen so Idont feel that bad.

On a more serious note I have had the last two songs from Garbage V 2.0 repeating in my head for the last 36 hours. Why I do not know. Whats even stranger is that its two songs at the same time. I didnt even know this was possible. "You Look So Fine" is like crack. Everytime I listen to it I want to hear it again. Whats the deal. I bet theres a hidden subliminal message in it or something. Not to mention the fact that I havent listened to Garbage in like 3 years, and all of a sudden Im obsessed with these two songs. Who can say, really.

Oh and what is the point of this Daylight Savings nonsense? Seriously who decided, lets just change the clock and fuck up everyones day? The one in October isnt bad because you get more sleep and all, but its still totally unnecessary.

I think Im gonna go to bed now. Actually Im gonna join this site Marleigh showed me, www.makeoutclub.com. Make out clubs rule. Gripes I gotta take the trash out still. Gnight!!

Saturday, March 31, 2001

Its official, the chick singing in Josie and the Pussycats IS infact Kay Hanley from Letters to Cleo. I knew it all along. This makes me happy. Im so glad they didnt try to make that actress sing. The best part is the whole soundtrack is actually "Josie and the Pussycats",or rather "Kay and some studio musicians" songs. Since there is no more Cleo this is the closest thing to another album. I actually did a whole internet search at work trying to find any recent information about them and at the movie sites message board there was a bunch of people talking about LTC and I found a link to an article and interview with Kay that said she did infact to all the singing in the movie and even taught the actresses how to do cool rockstar moves onstage. Also shes gone solo these days and plans to release a solo album soon. That should rock. I didnt know shes married to the guy who used to be in LTC and now plays guitar with Nina Gordon. I could totally play 6 degrees of Letters to Cleo here but I wont.

So not much happened this week. I got hit by an Indian cab driver on my way to school tuesday. I wasnt really hit but our cars touched slightly and theres a tiny swipe of yellow above my front left tire now. Its pretty punk rock actually, but I think it will rub off. The strange part was his name is Mohammed Abdulah Amhed, and the guy I got into an accident with 2 years ago was named Amhed Abdul Mohammed. Swear to God! And I do mean Allah. Later that day, Shanna and I wento the this huge Japanese market. It was like Japanese Costco. They had so much crazy stuff. I have to hand it to the Japs, they totally have nifty product design down, but some of the stuff they make I just dont get. The item of the week were these tiny llittle 1 foot long ironing boards that went for 98 centseach. They were legit ironing boards, but I dont believe they make irons that small, nor clothes that would require ironing on such a small surface. Another cool thing we saw were Merkins. Im not gonna get into what a Merkin is, but for those of you who know what they are, there was a variable assortment of shapes, colors and sizes. If you really wanna know what it is, email me at PunkMonkeyDeluxe@aol.com. Anyways I got a buttload of Jap candy. One kind is called SUPER UME and they are really really sour lil hard candies that are good and plum flavored on the inside. I also got some Kasugai Konpeito which are little colored rock candy balls. I got an 8 pack of Marukawa Fruit Flavored Gum, some weird caramel things I cant read the label of, more Botan Rice Candy of course, and some Kasugai Fruit Gummys in assorted flavors like Pineapple, Grape, and Muscat (?). They all come in an attractive small bag, so attractive it says that on the front of the bag. I also got this really good soda, I forget what it was called but it was Melon Creme flavored and an opaque mint green color and it ruled. The highlight of the day however was the stationary section. I have come to realize that nothing is funnier than poorly translated sayings on Japanese stationary. My favorite displayed a picture of a wheat field with the accomplanied saying: "Come with me you are my friend, We will go to the sweet flake land." Now I dont know what or where the sweet flake land is, but I am so there. I got a cool day planner featuring the Monkey Brothers, 3 small monkies who "like to hang out with friends and have high fashion sense." The odd part is on the inside theres a list of names to choose from, for what it doesnt say, but they are all distinctly Jewish names. Ben, Noah, Finkle, Harold, Moshe, just to name a few. Oh I also got an awesome golden bull necklace for 98 cents. The Japanese rule.

In reality television news, there is a God, Jerri got kicked off Survivor. I hated that bitch and Im glad she went down. Spring break is in like 2 weeks and I have no tickets of any kind yet. Theres a possibility of a cruise. Or mabye camping at Refugio if it comes down to it. I wanna go to Hawaii. Shanna and I might live there soon. And pink rabbits might fly out my bum. Gripes its 3 am. Im goin to bed. Nighty night.



Monday, March 26, 2001

Oh how I love Napster. Let me count the ways. Ive been mad downloading this past week. Marleigh at my work brought in Letters to Cleo a few weeks ago and it has fully sparked my re-obsession with them. I forgot how much they rock. Wholesale Meats and Fish is one of my favorite records of all time. And so is GO for that matter. So I got a bunch of live stuff from them which is cool and even a whole show of live accoustic stuff from their first album, Aurora Glory Alice. So after all of this I see that Josie and the Pussycats commercial with a song that sounds like its being sung by the Letters to Cleo chick. So I download it on napster and its a really catchy 2 minute song that sounds just like Kay. Now I know its not the actress singing, but would they lip synch to Letters to Cleo and not mention its them? Mabye its just someone who sounds like her. She has a pretty unique voice though. Who can say really. I so wanna see the movie. Ive also been downloading a rad Get Up Kids show from '99. I havent gotten all of it yet but I will soon. They do this awesome cover of White Zombie using synthed out keyboards inbetween songs that kicks ass. Ill Catch You and Red Letter Day are also pretty dope live. Have I mentioned how I love Red Letter Day in my blogs before? Just checking.

This weekend was pretty usual. Friday I worked and after I met J, K, Paul , Ben and Shanna at Swingers for a lil late night snack. It was unusually empty for some reason. Saturday I worked. As I did on Sunday. After work Sunday Shanna and I got Shanna new shoes. Not really new cus theyre the same ones shes had for the last 2 years, but they are a new pair. Then later Bri, Shanna and I went to the new Islands at the "Howard Hughes Prominade". That place is pretty cool but what a dorky name. I am all about Islands' Hawaiian Burgers these days. After we walked around the "Prominade" for a while. Pretty exciting stuff. Not really. Oh I almost forgot on Saturday Shanna and I went to Yaohan Market, which is now Mitsua or something and I got a cool new GOLD cell phone face. My old see thru one was to' back. That means it was crusty and all the numbers had rubbed off from being in my pocket. So I got this nifty new one that had a lil spring loaded flip cover to protect it. And its GOLDEN. ALL SHALL HAIL THE GOLDEN CELL PHONE. When I hold it up in the air it you can hear angels singing and theres a little sparkle on the corner that goes "ting!" It rules. We also got sushi and udon soup. I love me some udon soup. Its like ramen x 10.

Before I forget Kristy would like me to mention the following: I am currently having a wonderful conversation with her and my life has improved greatly since they have signed on. Also she wants me to mention this perverted dream she had where Shanna and I were making out on the beach. Shes one sick puppy. Also she and Jackie went to see SMNMNMN at the Viper Room. Snooooze city over here.

My hair is seriously out of control these days. Its getting larger and larger by the hour. I think Im gonna grow a mullet. Then Ill take a picture and send it to mulletsgalore.com and my life will be complete. Oh that reminds me! You have to check out www.fadetoblack.com. They are my new favorite website. Check out the section on Unintentionally funny websites. It is seriously hilarious. The first is this really funny site where they take modern pop songs and change the lyrics to Christian worship songs. Finally Smashmouth songs have some value, even if only to make you laugh. Heres a sample....

Somebody once told me that Jesus Christ can save me
I'm not exactly the perfect kid.
I've done things i'm not proud of and i don't think that i can be,
I can't be saved because i'm not worthy.

Well the tears start coming and they don't stop coming
My knees hit the ground and my prayers start running
Doesn't make sense not to live for God.
Jesus can save not a cultist named Todd.
So many cults, so much sin
So what's wrong with being saved by him.
You'll never die if you believe.
You'll be like Adam and Eve.

Hey now, he saves us
the one named Jesus
Hey know, i love you
And god loves you too.
The streets of heaven are gold
Jesus' story never gets old.

Hell's a hot place and you know it don't get colder
get saved now before you get older.
But the atheist big to differ,
say show hm one of god's pictures.
Your life line is getting pretty thin,
the time is at hand, will you sink or swim.
My life is his how about yours
that's the way i like it and i never get bored.

Hey now, he saves us
the one named Jesus
Hey know, i love you
And god loves you too.
The streets of heaven are gold
Jesus' story never gets old.

Hey now, he saves us
the one named Jesus
Hey know, i love you
And god loves you too.
The streets of heaven are gold
Jesus' story. . .

Somebody once asked could i spare some time to pray
i need to meet the savior this day.
I said yep, on our knees,
Pray to the lord and say please,
Take this sin and help me change.

Well her smile started coming and it didn't stop coming
She spread the word when she took of running.
Didn't make sense not to live for him
Now he's taken all of my sin
So let's pray, so let's sing
God is the only perfect being.
The streets of heaven are gold,
Jesus' story never gets old.

Hey now, he saves us
the one named Jesus
Hey know, i love you
And god loves you too.
The streets of heaven are gold
Jesus' story never gets old.

The streets of heaven are gold
Jesus' story never gets old.


Hahahaahaha!! Two words : Crazy-ass Christians!! Man that cracks me up. Some of the other unintentionally funny sites include one on "How to Have Sex with a Dolphin" which Im not even gonna get into, and Melanie Griffith's own site, www.melanie.com. Speaking of crazy what is wrong with her? Its seriously the most egotistical shameless self promotional thing Ive ever seen in my life. She has this "Recovery Journal" where she writes about her life long traumatic addiction to pain killers on one page, and posts a recipe for Red Rasberry pie on the next. She might be off painkillers but shes obviously still hitting the crack pipe.

Anyways check out that site it rules. Im going to bed now. Actually Im gonna burn this Live GUK cd then go to bed. Later!!

Monday, March 19, 2001

Well goodevening young souls. How is life treating you these days? I just had a fascinating experience picking up dog poop. Its much more interesting when done after midnight. Usually I do it during the day but I wasnt home at all today and couldnt do it till after dark. It made the experience much more exciting. The first clump was just a normal clump, nothing special. But the second clump had a huge slug on it with long googly eyes. The third clump appeared to be normal but as I picked it up with the pooper scooper there were two big fat nightcrawlers under it. They were pretty gross. The fourth clump featured a neatly formed spider web encasing the entire poop, however there was no spider to be found. The fifth and final clump contained some sort of white mold or fungus that had completely taken over the entire poop creating a soft, fuzzlike appearance. My life fucking rules.

So Friday night was Weezer and GUK and I must say it was a pretty awesome show. Although it took us about 4,000 years to get to the Palladium in friday rushour traffic, we got there right after 7 which kicked ass cus we got a free parking spot on the street. After a tremendously invasive security check we got inside and saw all the cool stuff they had set up for us to play with. It was a Yahoo! sponsered concert and they had all of these booths set up to entertain you between bands. One had a bunch of guitars you could play, in another you could burn your own mix cd, and in the two coolest ones you could take a picture with card board cut outs of Weezer, and take a digital photo to email your friends. Unfortounetly I didnt have very good luck with the cut out pics. The first one never came out, and the second came out but I put it in my back pocket during the show and it smeared. But you can still sorta make out me licking Rivers's face. The digi cam pic came out pretty cool. Infact if youd like to see it, go to http://yahoo.earthcam.com/outloud2001/1952.html . Im the one with the hip shades.

As for the bands, they all rocked. Ozma was awesome as usual, and have really hit the big time now that they are selling their T shirts for $25. And to think only a couple years ago they were on my nerdy public access show. Hah. The Get Up Kids were totally rad. This was the first time Ive seen them live and they ruled. I so wanna see them again. I wish they played a longer set, but they did manage to play two of my favorite songs, Red Letter Day and Mass Pike. I got a cool green GUK t shirt (for $25 =P) but its an XL so that bitch better shrink in the dryer. After a long wait Weezer finally came out. They were pretty dope. It was so crazy seeing them with such a huge crowd too. It was kinda annoying because there were lots of 12 year olds there who were like 5 when the blue album came out, but whatever. Everyone was jumping up and down and screaming all the words so loud I could barely hear the band. They played pretty much the same set as the other times Ive seen them. A few new songs I havent heard, a few I have, a few off Pinkerton which was nice, and all the blue album favorites, including Only In Dreams for the encore which was freakin awesome. They also did a B Side - You Gave Your Love to Me Softley which was real cool. Despite all the 12 year olds, it really was assuring to see such a huge, enthusiastic turn out for a band that writes and plays really awesome pop rock songs that dont contain any "aggro-i hate the world-i wanna break things" bullshit. If only Kroq would realize this concept.

After the show I got a crap load of free stuff. Magnets, stickers, handbills, and a super cool Get Up Kids single for 10 minutes. How cool is that? I also successfully aquired another $5 scalper t shirt. What you ask does this mean? Well this looks like a great place to explain my $5 t shirt rule. Basically the rule says I will not pay more than $5 for any concert t shirt, unless its a really cool shirt from a band im not likely to see again soon. Obviously GUK are a prime example of the exception. Other exceptions have included shirts from Hole, the Donnas, and the Dandy Warhols. The reason for this rule is that scalpers will ALWAYS, and I repeat ALWAYS take $5 for their tshirts, even if they are announcing that they cost 10, 15, or even 20 dollars. If you say "all I have is $5" quietly so no one else hears and wave the money in their face, they WILL take it. It has worked for me on several occasions, infact not once have I been turned down. Its worked at the Black Crowes, Garbage, Fiona Apple, Nine Inch Nails, and most recently, Weezer. I highly reccomend this technique to anyone looking to save a buck on over priced concert t shirts.

So that was pretty much the highlight of my weekend. Saturday I worked and after work the twins, and Shanna and I went to a party at my friend Marleigh from work's house. It wasnt a party actually it was a poetry reading, but only like 3 people read poems. The only poem Ive ever written was in 10th grade and it was called "I Am a Whiteboy Who Like Taco Bell." It was published in the schools literary notebook next to "Sometimes I think" by Ernesto Soprani. The funny part is I dont even remember how my poem went, but I remember Ernestos because it was so funny. Anyways we kicked in her cool apartment for a while and then left because I had to work early Sunday morning. After work Sunday, I went out to dinner with Shanna, Bri and the rest of the Holzer family, including Grandma Margie, for Shanna and Grandma Margies Birthdays. We went to the Stinking Rose. I had Pork Chops. Damn it was good. And I will now be emitting that garlic stink from every one of my orifices for the next 7 days.

Oh that new Imac commercial just came on. Thats the hottest commerical. The one with Liz Phair, Iggy Pop, George Clinton, Barry White and Lil Kim all standing on stage. It made me proud for once to own a Mac now that Lil Kim is in the commercial. She rules. But whyd they have to ruin it by throwing Smashmouth in. I hate that man. Just his dumb facial hair annoys the hell out of me. But Lil Kims so cool she makes up for it.

Well I guess thats all for now. Oh wait celebrity sightings. I saw Lit, and Tori Spellings brother who was on 90210 as Steves brother, who Ive seen at so many shows, at Weezer. Those werent too exciting though. I also saw Samantha from Hole, and Punky Brewster shopping withSabrina the Teenage Witch, on Melrose. I was gonna talk to Samantha but I had already embarrased myself by walking back and forth in front of her 4 times to see if it was really her. Heh mabye next time.

Ok thats really all for now. Peace out.

Friday, March 16, 2001

Things I hate : Santa Monica College.

First off I got a fucking parking ticket today. This really pisses me off. Ive been parking in the same spot every tuesday and thursday since the semester started 5 weeks ago and today somehow this becomes illegal. What the fuck. Apparently since there only were single lines around the spot and not double this means it isnt a valid spot. Like some idiot just decided to leave out some lines on one random spot out of 1000 and not put a sign up or paint it a color or anything. Im telling you they do this to fuck with people intentionally. Just like how at the end of the semester when everyones all stressed out over finals and transferring they rent out half the student parking lot to MTV to film the Music Awards and 5000 people can no longer find parking. So anyways I went to the "on duty" security guard who wrote the ticket and of course he says it was someone else and that he is only an employee of the school and doesnt have the power to do anything. Fucking idiot. Then the retard in the campus police station says its "out of her hands" too, and I need to submit a written letter to contest the ticket. Its only $30 which is so not a big deal but this is about the principle. Theres no sign whatsoever that this parking spot is not infact a parking spot. Its the same exact size as all the others and its one random spot in between like 100 others. Fucking piece of shit.

Secondly Im taking this joke of class called Intro to the Internet thats taught completely online. Im allready convinced this is just class to fuck with students because its a prerequisite to any other web related classes, specifically web design which is where Im headed. If you need to take in Introduction to the Internet class, that means youve never used it before, and therefor will not be able to jump online all by yourself to take the class. Am I the only one who sees this? Its called lets make a bunch of rediculous mandatory classes to keep people in our school forever. So the first week of this class was insane. Our assignments included posting a message to a message board, creating a Yahoo account, and defining words like "brb" and "lol". Seriously. So this week I log in to see that all of our assignments are available for download in EXE files only. Well that blows cus Im on a Mac and they dont support EXE files. A couple people posted to our class message board saying they couldnt open the files and the teacher responded with " Oh you better talk to your ISPs" . What a fucking joke. I hate this fucking school. Fuck. I sound like Briana.

Im going to bed now. Weezer and GUK is tomarrow. Rock N Roll. Goodnight.

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

Ist is just me or has HBO been playing Jawbreaker twice a day for the last week? Dont get me wrong Im not complaining. If anything this is a step in the right direction. Any movie that begins with a Veruca Salt song and features Rose McGowan in tight hotpants is A OK in my book. And not to mention the Donnas are in it. And the Imperial Teen song rocks. And arent Letters to Cleo on the sound track too? This movie rocks.

So fridays Weezer. Im pretty excited. Wanna hear something crazy? My friend Shanna won tickets on Kroq. She just called in randomly after hearing the commercial on the radio and she won them. Crazy huh? Tickets are goin for like $200 on Ebay too. Shannas birthday is on thurs. We were gonna go see Drew Carey at the Improv but it sold out so I guess well go next week. I still have to get her a present. She told me she wants "jive square things" and hoop earrings. Good thing too cus if theres anything I know how to shop for its jive square things and hoop earrings.

Im making a new website. Actually its for work, but hopefully Ill be cancelling AOL soon and getting a cable modem, so my old one wont exist anymore. The new one is called "Ultraluxe". Dont ask me why. I couldnt really think of anything, and Ultraluxe just sounds cool. And it looked really cool in the font Im using. Its gonna be all pimped out with gold and sillouhettes of naked chicks. Aww yeah.

Oh my math teacher isnt an alcoholic as previously mentioned. I think hes just really nerdy. The people in the class are all kinda psycho so who can really say whats going on. Spring break is coming up. We might go on a cruise to Mexico. But the problem is we need four people so it will be cheap, and the twins dont wanna go. Right now its just Shanna and I and mabye Bri. So if anyone reading this wants to go to Mexico from April 13th to the 16th and has a few hundred bucks to spare email me at PunkMonkeyDeluxe@aol.com. Heh.

Well thats about it for now. Is it just me or are my Blogs becoming more and more pointless? Mabye the point is in the fact that there is no point. Hah that sounds good to me. Later on donkey kong.

Friday, March 09, 2001

So now that I opened this new blog Im not really remembering what it is I was gonna talk about. I just blogged last night. Why am I back again?? Not much has happened. I got a hair cut. I got some new Pumas. I got a free Pikachu heychain in a box of granola bars. Hah where has my life gone. I was gonna go see Death Cab For Cutie tonight but I missed them for the 5th time. Shanna had to work and the twins had a class until 9:30. I bet they rocked. Theyre playing tommarow night at Spaceland but I must work. Mabye if they dont go on till late I can make it. Lets keep our fingers crossed.

Im making a new mix CD. Its called Jeff's Early 90's Dance Hit Mega Mix Compilation. 28 of the most old skool dance hits from 90-95. All from Napster obviously. Im getting all I can before they go down. Remember "Poison" by Bell Biv Devoe? Got it. Remember "I saw the sign" by Ace of Base? Got it. How bout "I wanna sex U up?" from Color Me Bad? Got that too. When I say early 90's dance hits I mean early 90's dance hits. I already have so many I think Ill have to make a Volume II and a Volume II. I could so sell these on Ebay.

Woah Courtney Loves new band! Its called Bastard and its "C.Lo", the apparently newly sober Patty Schemel, Louise hot sex Post, and Gina somebody from Rockitgirl. Can you say erection?? That is too much. I was reading all about it on the Hole message boards earlier. I cant believe it. Thats gonna be some mess. I wonder who will sing. 1/2 Hole + 1/2 Veruca Salt = 1 Hell of a sexy rock and roll fantasy.

Ok Im already out of things to say. Im gonna go. Bye.

Thursday, March 08, 2001

Woah did you know Nick At Night now shows reruns of ALF? Crazy.

So today I didnt go to class. I guess its ok because I think my teacher is an alcholic. Actually thats what people in the class were saying. He just didnt show up for class twice last week and on monday he gave us some bullshit 20 minute lesson. So the other day he was like 20 minutes late and this guy in the class told me he smelled vodka on his breath. That sucks and all if he really does have a problem, but if it helps me pass Im not complaining.

So since this was my first day off in like a month I decided to run some errands. One of them was going to Costco. Let me just say that place is mad hell. Mabye its just the oversided shopping carts, but people seriously go nuts in there. They need to require licenses to push those things. People have no sense of staying to one side of the aisle as to let others by. And everyone is so testy like youre gonna get the last gigantic pack of toilet paper and theres none left anywhere so they have to run you over to get it. I actually got some pretty hip stuff though. I got 2, 12 packs of Jones Soda. Damn I love Jones Soda. It goes quite well with this Hawaiin Kettle Corn I got too. I also got a huge box of Blow Pops and 4 pack of sticky film for my Izone Camera.

Yestarday Shanna and I went to Pic N Save. They had some pretty hip stuff. I got a pair of those old school brown striped flip flops for 99 cents, a set of bamboo coasters for $1.99, a cool see through green glass ashtray for $1.69, a pair of yellow avaitors for 88 cents and a hollographic virgin mary air freshener for 59 cents. Not too shabby.

I also got the new Aerosmith CD. Not at Pic N Save obviously. Im not really that into thier new stuff as much these days, but since they were the first CD I ever bought I will always buy thier CDs. Ive only listend to it once so far but its not bad. I really like Jaded and the video is really cool. This isnt a surprise because theyve always made awesome videos, but this one is really quite beautiful. Its got Jackie from that 70's show in it, and she insanely hott. Its quite refreshing to see videos that actually have plots and storylines and awesome scenery. I think Jay Z needs to see this video. All rap videos these days are exactly the same. Its all a bunch of rappers wearing expensive oversized clothing, tons of jewelery that doesnt belong to them, throwing money around that also probably doesnt belong to them, surrounded by naked black chicks that certainly dont belong to them. What a joke. I cant imagine they are really impressing anyone. Whats funny too is that you know they just rent all that stuff and the video only costs like a thousand bucks to make.

Haha woah whered that rant come from? Im kinda tired now. I think Ill go lay down and have a Jones Bubble Gum soda. Hehe. Until next time...

Friday, March 02, 2001

I am sitting here at 1:30 am starving like heck and the only edible thing in my fridge is a left over Ultimo Burrito from Baja Fresh, which we all know cannot be eaten after midnight or chaos will ensue, and a Lunchable with an experation date of March 1. I am officially one and a half hours into March 2nd. Its these types of decisions that drive a man to insanity. To eat or not to eat?? The package is now open and upon entrance I notice no immediate foul odor. However, the ham doesnt look well. There seem to be little white flakes around the edges. This could be ice, since it was way in the back of the fridge, but Im so not gonna risk it. The cheese looks ok. Its American so it probably doesnt contain anything real anyways that can go bad. The crackers are cool too. Looks like its cheese and crackers for Jeff. And Capri Sun. If there are no future blog entries after this, youlle know why.

So I saw Survivor again tonight. Two words - Jungle Karma. A psychotic man brutally murders a wild pig in the jungle and smears blood all over his hands and face and one episode later, he falls into a campfire burning his hands and face. Coincidence?? I think not! How does someone pass out into a fire anyways? Mabye its possible if he was inhaling the smoke, but Ive never heard of anything like that before. Homeboy done pissed off some jungle spirits big time when he killed that pig. If only Kimmi were around still she so woulda pointed this out to them. Anyways his hands looked gross, but I hope he comes back to kick Geri's ass.

Today in Life Drawing class, we drew this naked woman, who had a crazy vagina. I dont proclaim to be a vagina expert or anything, but this one was just funky looking. It looked like it was falling apart. Like all her stuff was fully visible while she was just standing up. She looked like she needed a pencil to push it all back where its sposed to be or something. I think I saw something about this on Howard Stern once actually. A woman got vaginal reconstructive surgery cuz it was all saggy. Thats crazy stuff.

So I saw an ad in LA Weekly for that Coachella Festival and guess whos playing. Weezer! and the Dandy Warhols! And Blonde Redhead and Pedro the Lion! Too bad its $65 and in Palm Springs. Weezer Im seeing on the 16th anyways, but I really wanna see the Dandies again. Oh and Death Cab For Cutie is playing on March 3rd at Spaceland. I think thats a Saturday. I really hope I dont have to work because I missed both thier last shows. I got some new cd's the other day. The Get Up Kids, Woodson/Red Letter Day double EP. Pretty cool stuff. I really like Red Letter Day. Also I got American Hi Fi. For those of you not "with it" American Hi Fi is a band comprised of former members of Veruca Salt, Letters to Cleo, Fig Dish, and some other guy. All three of those bands rock so I had to check them out. Actually I got a few of thier songs off Napster a few months ago. Its pretty hip stuff. Its produced by Bob Rock who rocks and also did 8 Arms to Hold You, my favorite album of all time, and Nina's album, Tonight and the Rest of My Life. Bob Rock kicks ass. If Im ever in a band, and making a CD, I want Bob Rock to produce it for sure.

Woah guess what movie is on. Happiness. For anyone who hasnt seen this movie, go rent it now. It will change the way you live. It seriously is the most shocking, disturbing, hilariously embarassing, sickening, awesome movie of all time. Theres parts that just totally make you cringe. But yet its so funny. You just gotta see it to believe it.

Shanna got me this candy called Milka, from some dumb store in Hollywood. Its from France and its a little Egg Carton, filled with four life size chocolate eggs. It comes with spoons, and youre sposed to crack the top off and eat out the candy yolk with them. Its fucking crazy. I love international candy. Germans make the best chocolate, the French have eggs with candy yolk, and dont even get me started on Japanese Botan Rice Candy. I love it more than anything.

I just got a random IM, from "DavyJonesMullet", with a link that just says Indie Rock. Under normal circumstances Id tell them to bite me, but that screenames so cool I have to check it out. No numbers, no abbrievations, and it rocks. Thats a screename with class and sophistication. That reminds me actually, I am no longer Rockstar62. I am now PunkMonkeyDeluxe, so feel free to IM me and say "Hi, I think your blogs are clever, witty, and greatly entertaining." Hehe. Allrighty Im gonna check out this site and then go to bed. It better not suck. Later!

Saturday, February 24, 2001

So last night was the Donnas. And what a show it was. Bri and I showed up at about 9 and none of the bands had played yet. Why is the Roxy so retarded? That place takes for ever to let the bands go on. It was a really weird crowd. Lots of 30+ year olds who just didnt seem to get it, yet were still there. And the rest were a mix of Rockabilly kids and "hardcore" "punks". Hah. So the first band that played was called Tulli. They are from Canada. They werent bad. They seemed to have thier shit together musically. The lead singer looked like Cameron Diaz and they covered Garbage's "Only Happy When It Rains." What can I say, Im a sucker for girls with guitars. The next band was Bratmobile. I had actually heard from several people that Bratmobile were a pretty cool band, but frankley I just didnt dig it. Infact it rather pained me to sit through thier set. Mabye thier CD is good, but seeing them live made me wanna self mutilate. First off they are lacking a bass player. Why, I do not know. Second, theres only one guitar player and she seems to think there are only two strings on a guitar. Why she ignores the bottom 4 strings, again I do not know. Thirdly the lead singer chick talks way too much. After every song she just blabbed and blabbed. And she really was annoying the way she bopped all over the stage with her ponytails. Actually she sorta looked like my friend Paul if he put on a red wig. The drummer was ok and the keyboardist was hot, but it just seemed they needed more of a band. So finally after what seemed like for ever the Donnas came out. Damn that Donna R. is hot stuff. She totally rocked. They all rocked, really. They were really really good live. They played a pretty decent set, with lots of older stuff and new stuff and even the cover of Judas Priest's "Living After Midnight." Damn they are hot. I cannot stress enough the heat that was eminating from the Roxy last night. Donna F. told some really funny jokes too. One that comes to mind..."Why did the siamese twins go to England?" "So the other one could drive." Hah! So thier set was really awesome and I got a t shirt and a pin that says "Do you wanna hit it?"

So what else happned since my last blog...oh the Grammy's. What a joke. That mess was pure comedy. I honestly didnt pay much attention to the Tv while it was on, but I did see the Who Let the Dogs out people beat Moby. If that doesnt say it all, I dont know what does. I dont understand how the supposed "most credible music awards" in the industry pick such an obvious joke of a song, over a finely crafted work by an artist with more talent and genius in his left nut than the Baja Men could ever hope to see. Popular music sickens me. And that whole Eminem - Elton John thing...can you say media induced ratings booster? What a joke. That whole thing was so boring.

So that brings us to this evening. I worked. But after work is when all the fun started. It was Operation Porn 2001. See, Im taking this life drawing class that requires these "plates" where we draw sections of muscle and bone from photographs and put it all together on big posters. So basically I need naked pictures that I can cut up and draw. The teacher actually recomened porno mags to us, but he told us to be wary of the hardcore stuff, because we need poses, not hot sex action. So I start thinking to myself where can an everyday Joe like myself go to buy porn and not feel like a perv. Finally it comes to me in a vision, the Hustler store on Sunsted blvd. Ill feel way less pervacious buying porn in a place that also has hot bagels and a juice bar. So I make my way to the porn section and to my demise I notice every single magazine is wrapped in plastic. I now realize that I am just God's entertainment for the evening and he is sitting in heaven laughing his ass off at me. So Im looking through the porn at titles like "Juggg's" (really spelled with 3 g's), "Barely 18", and" Black Tail". So I figure Playboy is probably the most tame, and I also notice the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, so I grab those. After 10 minutes of staring in amazement, I work up the nerve to ask for help. This chick who works there suggests I go for "Legggs" (again with 3 g's) and Perfect 10. So Im thinking 4 mags should be enough, but Ill probably need something with a male in it for the assignment. I take a quick walk past the gay porn section and decide its just too much for my eyes and keep walking. I find a Muscle Fitness magazine in the G rated section and decide this will have to do. So I get inline behind two women buying like 50 dildos, a gallon of liquid latex, and a whip. I dont think to many people have experiences like this. Mabye its cus this is L.A. Who knows. In any case I debate whether or not to tell the chick at the register who has bright red hair and is totally hot, that these mags are for an art class and not my own personal enjoyment. I decide that will seem just as perverted and that if Im gonna come off as a pervert I might as well be a pervert with guts. So I buy my mags, operation Porn 2001 complete.

So on the back down Sunset I decide to stop at Tower Records, because this Tower always has cool stuff. Indeed this time was no different, I found part 2 of the Dandywarhols Bohemian Like You Single, and the Get Up Kids Red Letter Day/Woodson Ep. Cool stuff. Oh I forget If I already mentioned this in a past Blog, but my position at the L.A. Weezer/Get Up Kids/Ozma show is now secured. I found my missing ticket. Somehow it managed its way into the Shag print book that Shanna got me for my birthday. The book was hidden under a pile of crap on my guitar amp along with 3 long forgotten boxes of Botan Rice Candy and a Jury Duty Supena. D'oh.

Allrighty I will now listen to my Dandy Warhols single and go to bed. Adios!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2001

I would just like to say, that I like Moby. He was just on Craig Kilborn and not only is he funny and clever, but hes well spoken and seems like the least biggest asshole "celebrity" around these days. I dont actually own his CD, but Ive heard it many many times at work, and it rocks. I think I will buy it someday. Also I read somewhere a quote of his that said something about how all of the music charts these days are filled with crap like Who Let the Dogs Out and Nysnc because all of the smart people are on Napster downloading good music for free. Hehe. Moby rules.

Tuesday, February 20, 2001

So this weekend was pretty hip. I worked everyday, but still managed to live after midnight, rock to the dawn, and love till the morning. Saturday evening after I got off work I went to visit Shanna at Starbucks. Bri and I watched them close the store and then we kicked it in the parking lot and played with the leftover Baguettes. You know your hip when you spend you Saturday night in the dimly lit parking lot of Starbucks amusing yourself with day old baked goods. Afterwards we went to Swingers and I had pancakes.

Sunday night I worked again, and after I met Jandk, Paul, and Sarah Wise and thier friends at the Hollywood Allstar Lanes. There were 12 of us so we bowled in teams and our team sucked big time. Jandk did unusually bad both scoring in the 90's. Sarah Wise was the comedy for the evening with a score of 39. But she gets an A for effort. Her friends both scored in the 60's and I got a not too terrible 131. Paul and his team totally kicked our asses. The highlight of this bowling extravaganza was when we saw "Jake" from Melrose Place. L.A. is just crawling with big time Hollywood celebs these days. After bowling we met up with Shanna and Bri, and went to where else but Swingers. Actually this time we went to the one in Beverly Hills. Im not sure I like this one as much as the one in Santa Monica. The jukebox is way less hip and the music was so loud that the waitress couldnt hear us and got all our orders wrong. Or she was just dumb. But damn that French Toast is good.

Monday we had off of school for Presidents Day so Shanna and I took a long drive to Newport Beach to go to the Paul Frank store. Man is he hip stuff. They had so much cool stuff and it was super cheap. They had a special, 3 t shirts for $30 so I hooked myself up. And I got a bunch of stickers and pins and a jive Julius Poster. And I am proud to say I will now have the warmest, hippest, most stylish wrists in town, for I am now the proud owner of genuine Paul Frank lightning bolt wrist warmers. It just doesnt get any cooler than this folks. On the way back up we went to Ikea and I got some pillows and a red mouse pad with a dot on it. Back on our side of town we went to Souplantation where I stuffed myself to capacity.

Overall a pretty ok weekend. Now back to my regularly schedualed boring existance. Woo hoo the Donnas are on thursday. Partay. I guess Ill go study now or something. Yeah right. Bye.

Friday, February 16, 2001

So I have now completed my first week of classes. Woo woo. I dropped my airbrush class cus it was lame. Who really wants to airbrush anyways? Plus the class was filled with dumb taggers and the greasy ponytail man previously mentioned in my last blog. My Life Drawing class seems pretty cool though. The teacher is this 60 year old little Italian man with a thick accent. In additon to drawing naked people we will also be memorizing every bone and muscle in the body and making detlailed graphs and charts of each. Great! Also we have to get one of those black leather sketch notebooks and fill every page up with whatever we want but the end of the semester. Its 1/3 of our grade and we can include anything we want, drawings, photos, poems, computer design, etc. This should be fun. Im gonna make my own comic strip. Im gonna take all my friends and turn them into animals and make them do funny things. Jackie and Kristy will be two slutty drug addict Deers, named Blackie and Misty. They will smoke cigarettes and wear bells around their necks. I havent though of anything but that yet, but I will for sure be the next Matt Groening.

So after this class my afternoon of hell began. I have a huge list of art supplies to get now and every art store in Santa Monica just seems to be out of everything. To make a long traffic filled story short I went to 4 different art stores buying one or two things at each and I still dont have everything. I nearly shit a midget at Graphaids because apparently they are the only place that sells 24x36x1/2 inch think Foamcore, so I look in the Foamcore section in the 24x36x1/2 slot and what do you know its empty. As my blood begins to boil I notice a thick piece in with the 3/4 inch pieces and low and behold its what Im looking for. So I take my foam core up to the register and all of a sudden this idiot 3 year old girl comes running up towards me and runs smack into the foam core. I see this and think, ok, its 1/2 thick, its strong stuff it will be ok. Unfortunetly I didnt account for the fact that while her mom was off not paying attention to her she had gotten into the charcol sets and has now smeared black charcol handprints all over the last piece of foamcore. I envision picking her up and throwing her out into traffic on Santa Monica boulevard. As it turns out they guy behind the register said they had more in the back and got me a clean one and said hed add the ruined one to the mom's bill. Mabye there is a God.

So after my 3 hour trip around town I return to school to go to my math class and Im already 5 minutes late. As I finally get to class and attempt to find a seat, wouldnt you know it, as I sit down in my seat my studded belt slides against the plastic and makes a huge loud farting noise. This belt will be the death of me I swear. I already ruined the apholstry at 2 resutrants and have stepped on it on my floor twice and rendered myself incapacitated. Its a hip belt though.

Survivor was on tonight. I really hate everyone on the show. Except Madog but shes gone now. I especially hate Geri. She is just the type of dumb L.A. wanna be actress bitch who would come into Urban Outfitters' fitting room and challange the 5 items at a time limit and think shes gonna be the one excpetion to the rule. I bet anything she was one of those idiots who did this when I worked there. And now her heads even bigger cus shes on TV. If she even wins the million bucks. And whats up with that guy killing the pig? And smearing blood on his face?? What a psycho. I think the only one I like is Kimmi even though shes loud and obnoxious.

Have any of you kids been to BigBrotherMag.com? If not you really must check it out. Somepeople at my work showed it to me the other day. In thier Emovies section they have the most amazing movie of this cat thats stuck on top of a 50 foot telephone pole. And this firemans on a ladder trying to get it down and all of a sudden it gets scared and jumps like 150 feet across the street and lands perfectly and runs off. It seriously flies in the air. Crazy, crazy stuff.

Anyways kids Its about that time. Paper Mario is calling my name!! Adios!

Tuesday, February 13, 2001

I started school today. Woo. My first class was pretty lame. Its Introduction to Airbrush Technique. The teacher is way funny. He used like 20 Car analogies in only an hour of class.(in a southern blackman's accent) "You see the VC Single Action Airbrush is like the Honda Accord, its dependable and its there when you need it. However the Dual Action is more like the Porsche (pronounced Po-Shay), it may look good and be somewhat dependable, but it requires a lot of maintenance." Anyways he seems nice and funny and all but the class looks kinda boring cus theres only a few airbrushes to go around and its more about the technique and not the creativity which is bunk. I just wanted to make cool art but I guess this isnt the class for that. Plus theres no cool people in the class. This one man is like 50 and has a greasy ponytail and chews tobbaco. Also I cant use this class towards my major, credits wise, so theres really not much point. Ill stick to computer design.

I also went to my Math class today and it seems ok. The professer is real young and looks just like the the guy from "Dude Wheres My Car." Not the 70's Show guy, the other guy. And no joke he said the word "Arbitrary" over 10 times in an hour when reffering to math rules. Why is it teachers are so easy to make fun of? Seriously every teacher in college I have ever had, has had some sort of really easy to make fun of quality. Shanna and mine's Design 1 teacher was an elderly Italian Stallion who only payed attention to the young hot chicks in our class and would say perverted things to them with his Italian accent. He reffered to one girl as "sex kitten". And we did these projects with bell peppers and he kept reffering to them as "Peppas". We also had an Art History teacher who spoke exactly like Ana Gasteyer's radio broadcaster charachter on SNL. She spoke all soft with a Minneasotan accent. Her quote was "Are ya with me?" and she ended every sentance with, "yeah, ok?" Then there was our English 2 Proffesser who was clearly white but dressed like an American Indian. Legit suede vests and beaded moccasins included. It must be a gene thing. Anyways tommarow I have Life Drawing ( woo hoo nekkid people!) so Ill let you know how that goes. Im also taking an online HTML Internet class so I can make a cool website and not just my dumb one. Which by the way can be found at http://hometown.aol.com/rockstar62/ .

I worked a double shift on Sunday. 12 hours chatting online. I nearly went beserk. Feel free to IM me on AOL or AIM at anytime to relieve my insanity. My screenames are ConfettiJesus or VivaJuliusMonkey. Speaking of Julius Monkey I won an awesome Julius sticker on ebay! Its the plastic non fading kind so I wanna put it on my car, but I already have an Evilbear Radiohead sticker on it. Both together would look tacky. Mabye I should just get rid of the Evilbear. Well see.

Its raining like a son of a bitch right now. I like rain but it really sucks driving in it. Its like peoples brains stop working right if its wet out. This old man was driving 15 mph down Fairfax the other day and after a 12 hour shift I felt I could not be held responsible for tailgating and giving vulgar hand signals as I swerved around him. I cannot express how much I want a missle launcher on my car.

My favorite song of right now is "One Summer Last Fall" by Jets to Brazil. I just got thier cd Four Cornered Night and I really dig it. Its weird because all of the tracks sound really different, but theyre all really good. I also got the Donna's new album, The Donnas Turn 21. Working on Melrose rules because apparenlty all of the stores on the street will give you a discount if you tell them you work on Melrose. Including Pennylane Music which rocks. The Donnas are sexy bitches. And thier songs totally crack me up. Its all about making out and smoking pot. Theyre so punk rock. Oh also I take back what I said about Karas Flowers. Actually I dont take it back cus they do sound like James Taylor, but I admit thier new songs have grown on me. "The Fog" and "Everyday Goodbyes" kinda rock. In a James Taylor kind of way of course.

Well Im off to do math homework now. (shiver). Catch ya later.

Wednesday, February 07, 2001

Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been more than a week since my last blog. Not much has happened really. I've been working. And hanging out at the House of Sickness aka Holzer Residence. Shanna and Bri have been quite ill lately. I bring the Coldbusters and we attempt to rent good movies like Virgin Suicides but Blockbuster never has it. We end up getting Scary Movie instead.

I've also been going Napster crazy lately. Mabye its cus I know theyre gonna start charging for it soon. I got lots of Death Cab For Cutie who are playing tonight at the Knitting Factory, but no one I know likes them so I wont go. I wish I had a siamese twin to take with me to concerts none of my friends will go to. I could have seen Portishead, Hooverphonic and Imperial Teen like 4 times. I also downloaded a few Kara's Flowers songs. When did they become all James Taylor?? Back in the day Nicole, Moria and I used to go to all their shows and they were never this adult contemporary. Crazy stuff. Ahh the good ol days. Kara's Flowers, Teen Heroes, Bank of Brian. Hahahaha. I dont think most of these bands are even together anymore. Heh.

Oh I got a new video game! Paper Mario! Its kinda weird actually. Its all 2-D and you fight goombas with all these weird attack moves. The language cracks me up too. They keep using the word "veranda" instead of balcony. And they casually throw in words like "old school" to try sound like the hip youth of America. Oh those N64 folks.

I cant think of much else to write at the moment and you know what that means. Bedtime. Adios!