Tuesday, May 15, 2001

Right now Im watching the most disturbing thing Ive ever seen. Its a documentary on HBO about little kids in beauty pageants, and what psychotic freaks of nature they are. Seriously its so messed up I cant even believe its real. Its the full on white trash family in the middle of hicksville. Complete with cracked out bleach blonde mother with 75 year old toothless boyfriend, and 8 other kids, one named Bubba ( I swear this is true), all of whom starve to death emotionally and physically so that they can afford to fly around the country to beatuy pageants with the prize winning pig daughter Swan. And its getting more fucked up every minute. She just told her daughter who doesnt want to wear her lucky star earrings cus that if she doesnt wear her lucky star earrings and her team loses, it will be all her fault for not wearing her lucky star earrings. Then they took this 6 month old to the two flaming homosexual "pageant coaches" to have her her first hair weave. There is a reason 6 month olds dont have hair. These people are interferring with the course of nature. Im changing the channel. Howard Stern is on, and Id rather watch freaks who are freaks by choice.

So Radiohead is coming. And for those of you who dont know I have quite a history with seeing Radiohead. Or lack there of really. For some reason the last 4 times Radiohead came to California I couldnt get tickets to any of thier shows. However I have managed to see them 3 times. Actually see them twice and hear them once. The first time was at the Kroq Accoustic Xmas in 95...or 96. This was pretty awesome actually. When they toured for Ok Computer I was first inline for tickets at 6am until they handed out wristbands and I didnt even get to stand in line. Luckily some friends got tickets but we were litterally in the very top last row of the Universal Ampitheater way in the corner. It was still awesome though. Then last year they played the Greek for one of thier two US shows and did I get tickets? Nope. But my pals and I hiked our asses up into the bushes behind the stadium and got to hear 10 amazing songs before the Forrest Rangers kicked us out. Still pretty awesome though. So this sunday, mothers day, tickets went onsale for two Santa Barbra Bowl shows. First off, the Santa Barbra Bowl rocks. We saw Hole there 2 years ago and it was easily the best show of my life. Theres basically no security there so Courtney caused a huge riot and we ended up sitting onstage for half of thier set. This is where I touched Melissa's sweat towel and drank from her cup. But thats another story. So I get in line at Tower Records for tickets and to my surprise theres only about 15 people in line. This is because the shows are 2 hours north in Santa Barba and were barely advertised in LA. So I figure if theres only 15 people in line at Tower theres probably less around the corner at Wherehouse. I walk over and theres like 10 people in line. Feeling pretty good I get in line and at 11:30 this chick comes out and goes " we can pretty much garuntee all of you tickets so were gonna take your orders now". Yeah fucking right. So she takes all the orders and at 12:00 the tickets go onsale and she comes back out and says, " we only got two tickets, and im not even joking." Fucking idiots do not know how to work a computer. So I run over to Tower and see that the 15 people who were in line when I got there had all got tickets and there now were 15 new people in line. I cross my fingers and join them but because this is me, the person in front of me gets the last 4 tickets. Fuck this shit.

Just then when I think life sucks enough, God decides to put a lil salt in the wound. I get to my car, and notice that somehow between my car and Tower Records my car key fell off my key chain. This ladies and gentleman is my life. So after searching all of Marina Del Rey I go back to my car. I still had the alarm remote so I was able to get into my car, I just couldnt start it. I begin calling friends to come rescue me but beings that its mothers day morning no ones around. Finally I get a hold of Shanna and she comes to my rescue. However while waiting in my car I somehow notice this tiny compartment to the left of the steering wheel Ive never noticed until today. I open that bitch up and whats inside but a spare key. This really is my life beacuse its not bad enough that I get stranded, but I have to feel like an ass when I realize I could of found this key and been home 3 hours ago. I rule.

Later on at work Im talking with Marleigh and since she didnt get tickets either, we decide to take a lil road trip and go see them in San Francisco. This is cool cus Ive never been to San Fran and I have a bunch of pals I can visit while Im up there. (Shout outs to Nicole, Anh, and Chris!! - WORD!!) So I call Shanna and shes down for a road trip and I buy 3 tickets online for the Shoreline Amphitheater show June 27th. Rock N Roll. The best part is I get to take William Delaware, my inflatable sheep, on our lil road trip where there will be lots of photo opportunities at highway signs and shady truckstops. He's destined for stardom.

So I guess theres a happy ending to the story after all. Actually I take that back, lets just see how the trip goes first. Mabye Ill lose my car keys in San Fran. That would rock. Later dudes.